Obama/McCain Debate #2

The debate just ended and I think there was a clear winner. Sadly, it wasn't Obama. Or McCain. It wasn't even hottie moderator Tom Brokaw. No, the winner of this debate was the guy who asked the first town hall question.

His name? MISTER ALAN SCHAEFER.

His question? "With the economy on the downturn and retired and older citizens and workers losing their incomes, what's the fastest, most positive solution to bail these people out of the economic ruin?"

First of all, Alan, what a stellar question. That's exactly what I would have said, had I been allowed to ask a prescreened question in a carefully vetted category of the Gallup Organization's choosing.

Secondly, Alan, the candidates really took a liking to you. They repeated your name an awful lot during their answers, and even during subsequent answers. The whole country knows you now. You are a true political superstar.

Slightly less powerful than Jesus Christ Superstar

Thirdly, Alan, I couldn't help but point you out to my Ex-Gifted Roommate every time the camera panned over to Section A on the Belmont University stage. You got a lot of camera time, Alan, and you should try to parlay this obvious photogenicality into your own primetime TV sitcom or cable news show. Have you considered a reality programme?

Alan, I wish I had a picture of you to share with everyone, but I will have to settle for a picture of the actor I think should play you in the made-for-TV miniseries based on your historic appearance, possibly entitled "First Question: The Alan Schaefer Story."

I used to be Jason Alexander.