5. Apple Seller
If the Great Depression was any indication of things to come, there should be a lot of people looking to buy cheap fruit on the streets pretty soon. So get yourself a piece of cardboard and rig up a sign on your wooden fruit-wagon. You can even set your own hours, making this great for those go-getter self-employed types.
4. Chewing Gum Marketing Guru
If there's one product that won't die, even in the midst of certain financial disaster, it's chewing gum. Every day I see a new ad for Orbit, Dentyne, Eclipse, or some other one-word gum brand. What's fascinating is that the gum is the same underneath the newly updated packaging as it was underneath the last round of updated packaging. But people keep buying it, because it's cheap (comparatively) and loses its flavor after 90 seconds.
One word: GUM.3. Military Recruit
There is one employer always looking for recruits and that's the US military. They want YOU. To go to Iraq. So stop polishing your resume and start practicing pull-ups. HOORAY!
2. Starving Artist
Seeing as you probably can't find employment anyway, this would be an excellent opportunity to take up your long-lost creative pursuits and live in squalor in a garret somewhere. And you will become 64% hipper by not trying to find a job, but living solely for your art. The more angsty and impoverished you are, the better this chapter of your memoirs will be.
I cut off my ear to pay my rent.1. Human Resources Person
If there's one thing companies need these days, it's HR people to fire all the other people. Beef up your resume with examples of your successful track record of rejection: dumping lovers, breaking leases, putting down sick pets. You'll be rolling in dough in no time!
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