As you may have heard, pop-sci author Dr. Michael Crichton passed away on Tuesday. I have started to emerge from my grief and am now ready to pay my respects.
Here, in no particular order, are some haikus I drafted while in the depths of sorrow. Each one is dedicated to one of MC's extraordinary novels.
JURASSIC PARK
Raptors, T. Rex, Lex
Where's Nedry? Fences are down
Hold on to your butts.
ANDROMEDA STRAIN
Scary viruses
Everyone is effin' dead!
Except sad baby
CONGO
Sign language monkey
That's really the only part
Worth talking about
SPHERE
Underwater orb
Submarine life sucks
Watch out for squid
TIMELINE
Time travel is fun
Until your limbs are chopped off
In medieval France
AIRFRAME
Are you serious?
Another one-word title?
Come on, Mister C.
Best book ever
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2 comments:
Mommy I can see the fleas can't you see the fleas?
Big Tim, the human piece of toast.
Is this West Indian Lilac?
From your blood!
Mr. Hammond... the phones are working. Call the mainland. Tell them to send the damn helicopters.
Because Grant's like me. He's a digger.
I told you we should have locking mechanisms on the vehicle doors!
Alan, Lex, and Tim!
Well John that hurt!
Relax, John. It's all part of the miracle of cloning.
Hello John, hello John, hello John.
That doesn't look very scary. More like a six foot turkey!
What's the matter, kid. Never had lamb chops before?
DAMN!!!!
What species is this?... you bred raptors?
It's a Unix system... I know this!
Well shouldn't I be going because I'm a, and you're a?...
Looook. We can discuss gender roles in survival situations when I get back. I'm on channel two.
Galla... galla... Gallamimus!
Dennis! Our lives are in your hands and you're eating Butterfingers??
It's right up your alley.
It's gonna come through the glass!!
I prefer to be called a hacker.
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
We'll have landed by the time you get it right!
She said I should ride with you, because it'd be good for you!
What about the Lysine contingency...
What've they got in there, King Kong?
From your blood!
Spared no expense.
Condors! Condors are on the verge of extinction. If I were to clone a flock of condors...
Don't we get to see the unfertilized eggs??
He left us. He left us!!
Uhhh chaotician, chaotician.
They're flocking this way...
We've clocked the T-Rex and 32 miles per hour.
Where's Nedry! Check the vending machines!
I really hate that man...
Dodson! We've got Dodson here!
Clever girl...
But that's NOT. What I'm going to do!
Henry, Henry, Henry! Why didn't you tell me!!
But I made a mistake too! I didn't have enough respect for that power. And it's out now!
Mr. Hammond, after careful consideration, I haven decided NOT to endorse your park.
Hey! We were SAVING that!
For today. I guarantee it.
Amphibian DNA...
He's gonna eat the goat?!
They're moving in herds. They do move in herds!
It's sort of a ride...
The voice you are hearing is Richard Kiley.
Shoooot her!!!
Two no shows and one sick triceratops...
I don't ask that you apologize for your mistakes. But I do ask that you pay for them.
You never had control! THAT'S the illusion!
I happen to be a vegetarian.
Mr. Arnold???
Uhhh, tiny variations, uhh imperfections, [imperfections?] in the skin...
Um, you said "from your blood!" TWICE. Please try not to screw up next time.
"It's gonna come through the glass!!"
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