Flu Prevention Tips

With fall well under way, flu season is upon us. In the interest of keeping Ex-Gifted Children everywhere healthy, here are some handy flu prevention tips.

1. Think About Not Getting the Flu

This is the most important thing you can do. According to “The Secret,” you can do whatever you want if you just think about it hard enough. So…every hour on the hour, take a moment to think “No Flu For Me, Thanks.”

Or, "Give Me The Strength Of A Thousand Oprahs"

2. Wash Your Hands

One of the simplest things you can do is to make sure you keep your hands clean. It can be hard to remember, though! Take a tip from Howie Mandel of “Deal or No Deal” and duct tape a Ziploc bag filled with Purell around your hands. You may not be able to use your hands, but at least you will never have to wash them.

Don't Come Near Me

3. Get A Flu Shot

This is a controversial tip, but I’m going out on a ledge here and including on the list. My biggest issue with the flu shot is that it sort of hurts. I don’t know that the benefit outweighs the brief, stinging pain. But if you’re bored and have ten bucks to waste and you like having someone stick a needle in your arm that may only prevent one specific type of influenza, by all means, go get a flu shot.

4. Stay Away From Children and Older People

If at all possible, limit your contact with children and the elderly, who are more prone to contracting winter illness.

For example, if you have children, have them live in a tent in the backyard for the winter (kids think this is super fun!). If you work in a school, take an emergency maternity leave until spring (note that this may not work for most male teachers). If you take care of an elderly relative, tell them you’ll be busy for the rest of the winter, and their contagious ass is on its own.

Sorry Grandma